JVR TenThings™

"Things are never so bad that you cannot come up with a list of ten things that aren't."

JVR TenThings™ is a collection of lists, pure and simple. Joe Russo long ago developed a personal practice, based on something he'd seen on an Oprah television show, of building lists of TenThings that are true. For example, a list of TenThings that Joe believed were his core values, or a list of TenThings that he wanted people to believe about him. JVR, standing in for Joseph V Russo.

Subsequently, Joe built this practice of list-making into his work as a psychotherapist and as a business coach. For example, when dealing with depression, Joe will work with his clients to develop a list of TenThings that are decidedly positive and true, things which can be referred to whenever we allow life to get us down.  For business clients, the work is around those TenThings which the business leader wishes to make true in his commercial endeavors.

Oddly enough, when you think about it, the Internet is alive with lists of TenThings: ten things to resolve to do in the new year; ten things to focus upon to make your personal life more meaningful; TenThings you can do to make your writing more compelling; and so on and so forth. You see them all the time. It makes one wonder what is so magical about TenThings, versus some other number!

There is nothing magical about the number 10, however. Joe selected it because, often times, five is too few, and moving beyond 10 can make the list harder to recall. Moreover, one of Joe's requirements is that he have, at the ready, his list of TenThings wherever he finds himself.  For this, he has compiled what Thomas Jefferson called his "Commonplace Book." A commonplace book is

nothing more or less than a notebook - be it a Moleskin, or a spiral bound student notebook, or a Filofax, or (in Joe's case), a FranklinCovey™ day planner. It goes wherever Joe goes.

My blog is about my lists of TenThings. I will talk about each of those lists in separate posts. And I encourage feedback and observations! Contact me at josephvrusso@gmail.com

Schadenfreude is Underrated

Schadenfreude is a German word meaning "pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others." This word is taken from German and literally means 'harm-joy.' It is the feeling of joy or pleasure when one sees another fail or suffer misfortune.

I think it is misused and underrated. 

In one of my many lists, I try to understand the many things that I am NOT. I encourage my therapy and executive coaching clients to do the same thing. Long ago I developed a list of the TenThings™ that I am NOT, and I have carried that around with me ever since. Hearing and understanding the misfortunes of others has influenced this list.

For example, the other day I was thinking how damn lucky I am NOT to have a life-threatening disease, or some affliction that required, say, an organ transplant. I am not carrying around a transplanted organ, one that belonged to someone else at some other time. I am forever grateful that I have not had to endure that, to live with the never-ending concerns of rejection and derivative illness. I am sorry that others have had to endure this and my heart breaks for them. Of course, my heart also sings that they have benefited from the many wonders of modern science, that they could live for another day despite the transplant. 

Herein resides perhaps the most appropriate use of schadenfreude: the idea that by considering the plights of others, the very real dangers they face, we are able to normalize our own problems, and gain a certain kind of perspective. Continuing the example, I am NOT an organ recipient. I do NOT have the concerns wrought by such a medical procedure and the very real life-threatening concerns that come with it. 

Not all of my NOT Things are derived from watching others, and I most certainly do NOT take pleasure in the misfortune of others. Rather, I watch and listen and consider my own "lot in life" and compare it. Yes, compare, but not to fix my position, as it were; that is to say, I do not compare myself to others and say to myself, "Yep, I am far better than that guy," or, "Nope, I have been nowhere near as successful as that man over there."

No, to compare is simply to understand differences. And in that process, I can and do derive a certain kind of gratefulness. I am damn grateful that I do NOT have to worry about a transplanted organ inside of me. I can say, in this context, that I am NOT unhealthy. I have learned what I am by considering what I am NOT. Does that make sense?

What other things am I NOT?

1. I am NOT rude (although, like everyone, I can be). 
2. I am NOT a slob.
3. I am NOT living an unexamined life.
4. I am NOT sociable, per se. 
5. I am NOT particularly wasteful. 
6. I am NOT lacking bravery.
7. I am NOT a sports fanatic.
8. I am NOT an extremist (although I am fairly extreme in listing the things I am NOT). 
9. I am NOT unhealthy.
10. I am NOT incapable of love. 

These TenThings™ that I am NOT are important to me. I assiduously avoid becoming any one of them. I have watched sloppy people and the 'overhead' they place on their lives by not being more organized and precise. I have looked inside and have concluded that I am not a very sociable person and while there are times when I can be, my default setting is as an introvert. This also belies the fact that I do NOT live an unexamined life. I have tried in my life to avoid rudeness. I certainly do not like it when people are rude to me; I, therefore, try NOT to be rude. 

And so forth. 

What are the TenThings™ that you are NOT?

I Keep Lists

Leopardi's Zibaldone
Circa 1837

I keep lists. I carry them around in what I call a commonplace book, or as the Italians call it, a zibaldone: A hodgepodge, but with purpose. This blog will be about my commonplace book and the things inside of it. It will be about a system I call JVR TenThings.

My name is Joe Russo. My full Christian name is Joseph V Russo, where the V stands in for Vernon, my maternal grandfather's first name. Hence, my initials are JVR. Welcome to my blog. I do hope you will come back again and again.

JVR TenThings™ is a system that I developed in the 1980s shortly after seeing an Oprah television show on which she had a guest who talked about depression. As near as I can recall, the quote that got me - REALLY GOT ME - was this:

Life is never so bad that you cannot make a list of ten things that aren't.

That is to say, whenever life gets you down, whenever the world doesn't seem to offer any more tomorrows, pause for a minute and think of ten things that are going right in your life.

When you are depressed, it isn't easy. It takes work. Sometimes it can worsen the depression as you struggle to come up with five things, let alone ten. But the work can be life-changing, transformative in ways you may not appreciate until after the work is done, until the next time you find yourself blue.

Now, the next step is perhaps a little harder (as if that is possible!): When things are going right, stop and think, "What ten ways could life go south right now?" We will explore that task as this blog unfolds, but let me give you a little teaser right now: It will be all about gratitude.

I use JVR TenThings™ in my work as a counsellor here in Adelaide, South Australia. I am an American transplant, an expatriate as we are called, living here in the land down under with my wife, who took a position as a professor at the University of South Australia.

I also use JVR TenThings™ in my work as a coach and executive mentor. For 28 years, I was a businessman, an executive inside of some of the world's largest (and smallest) companies. And in my work, I kept lists. I made lists for others to follow: To Do Lists, Wish Lists, Key Performance Indicator lists, and so on and so forth. I had task lists - things to do each month to close the books (I was an accountant early in my career), or reports to write each quarter (in my roles as a process manager). But I also had my TenThings - little reminders of ten things here and there that I had learned.

Hard to say, really, whether I looked at my TenThings™ all that often, but I always had it with me. I was one of those geeks who carried around a day planner, or in my case, a Franklin Covey planner. I still do! Some of you may use Filofax. Others, a simple spiral bound notebook. Still others, a pad of paper. The point is this: Since taking notes was important to me, I wanted some paper at the ready. And because having important information at hand kept me employed, I wanted a notebook at the ready, full of things I might need to know.

Remember that this was before the smartphone, the iPhone, the Palm Pilot - ever before laptops. As those technologies emerged, I tried them. Indeed, I was an early adopter of just about all of them!  Somewhere out in the garage I probably still have my first Palm Pilot, and maybe even my first Sharpe Organizer (remember those?). I know I still have my first Macintosh, and my first PowerBook. My wife says I still have the first dollar I ever earned ... but that's another story.

Anyway, as time went on, my TenThings™ books became more organized, more sorted and sifted, and frankly, so fine-tuned that many people started urging me to talk about my system publicly. That, then, is the reason for this blog.

Comments are welcome and encouraged. I would love to hear from you!